One of the things that can happen when you are a special needs parent is that you can become bogged down in the day to day problems. Stress over not meeting milestones, getting a diagnosis, obtaining interventions, school, medications, becoming certified in CPR so that you can save your child when they choke while eating… the list goes on and on. Not to mention behavior issues. It can feel overwhelming, isolating and depressing.
To combat this, it is important to create things to look forward to for yourself. Build them into your day, your week, your month and your year. Reward yourself. Think small. Think big. Think cheap. Think splurge. Wherever you are in your finances, your mental state, your amount of time for yourself, this is a plan you can get behind. Check out these ideas!
- Are you a reader? Make sure you always have reading material waiting for you. Buy yourself the latest book. Money tight? Join the library. A weekly or monthly trip there can be something to look forward to if you can get away and the books will be free. Not able to get away right now? If you have an e-reader, you can receive daily e-mails offering up free books. Check out Freebooksy, it keeps me swimming in free books to read.
- Make your morning beverage special (did you think alcohol, first thing? Haha, nope). You want to look forward to it when you wake up in the morning. Buy yourself an adorable mug that makes you smile. Money tight? Get it from the Dollar Tree, they always have cute mugs. Coffee drinker? Make it special with seasonal flavors, tasty syrups, etc. Tea drinker? Buy yourself a tea sampler so you always have something new to try. Feeling so squeezed on time with your child that you can barely make anything? Get a coffee maker with a timer so it is already freshly brewed when you get up in the morning. And, if it’s not automated, don’t forget to do your Self Care Breathing while things are dripping or brewing. See my article about Self Care, including that idea, here:
- Plan a short outing on a weekly/monthly basis. Go without your child. I know I know, it doesn’t seem possible. If you are parenting as a team, take turns with your partner. No, you won’t be able to go together, but at least you will both have a break and it will give you something to discuss when you are reunited. Go to a movie. Go shopping for yourself. Money tight? Go to a park. Bring one of your free books from the library or an e-reader. Feel like you really can’t leave the house right now? Sit outside while your partner takes over. Then switch. Don’t have a partner? Ask a friend to help. Even 30 minutes can feel like a vacation and you will look forward to it all week/month.
- Find a hobby that you like with no time restraints. I like to crochet. I do it at home. I don’t go to a weekly group (although that would be something to look forward to!) and I do it without a schedule. When I have time, I pick it up. When I don’t have time, I don’t. It is calming, relatively inexpensive and you get beautiful items at the end of a project. Money tight? Buy yarn at goodwill or garage sales or ask around. Lots of times, people are trying to get rid of stuff and will just give it to you. Not into crochet? Knit, build model cars, do puzzles, draw, write, play an instrument, fish. All of these are time flexible, not crazy expensive and give you something to look forward to.
- Plan a trip. Without your child. If you can. Plan a year in advance. Think about how it could work. Investigate respite care, find out who could help you do it. Save up for it. Do it. Don’t feel like you could be far away from your child in case there is an ‘event’? Do it locally. Go to a hotel or a bed and breakfast that will give you fast access to home if you feel you need it. And, check this out. You may have to go home to deal with a situation but if you keep your trip local, you can GO BACK to where you are staying after the situation at home is resolved. I know it might not seem possible, but it is. Money tight? Ask to stay at a friend’s place.
You know how people plan for children’s events and fun activities? Adults seem to stop doing that for themselves, especially special needs parents and caregivers. It’s time to reclaim some fun for yourself. Get creative. It may not look like it used to but it sure will brighten your life, giving you something to look forward to.
How do you create things for yourself in your life so that you have something to look forward to? Please tell about it in the comments below.
When you FINALLY get your special needs child to bed but you are too wound up after a meltdown, give yourself something to look forward to at 2 AM “me” time. This gives you 12 months of play and enables online multiplayer on PS4 so you can “spend some time” with your friends. Free PlayStation 4 games every month and access to exclusive sales and discounts.
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