My son is 6 years old and is special needs. He has Autism, PVL (periventricular leukomalacia), Duplicate Chromosome 16, Sensory Processing Disorder and more. He is developing at his own rate.
PVL means that he has damaged white brain matter. His neurons misfire. So from a learning standpoint, he needs to think through a task first, step by step. He needs hand over hand guidance to do the task. Then he needs to do the task. This process needs to be repeated a COUPLE OF HUNDRED times. And then his brain somehow locks it in. After that, the task becomes “natural.”
Developmentally, my son’s age ranges in different educational categories between 12 – 30 months of age. He will be 7 in February, so he is currently about 81 months old. That is a huge disparity. But it absolutely doesn’t matter in his world, or in ours. We are on his time frame and that is where we will remain.
He achieved a milestone this past week. I don’t know if I would have realized how important this milestone was if I hadn’t been a teacher and studied child development as part of my Master’s Degree in education. My son achieved object permanence.
What is object permanence?
My son likes to play with his tablet. We have two, one for him and one for his neurotypical older sister. He likes to go to the counter where the tablets charge, put down the one he is using and unplug the other one and take off with it. We have tried to deter him but nothing worked. Until one day, his dad took a kitchen towel and placed it over the tablet that was charging. The next time my son came up to the counter, he saw the towel in the exact same place where the tablet usually was. He left it and walked away. On other days, my son saw his dad cover the tablet with the towel. Still, he walked away when seeing only the towel. It was as if the tablet did not exist because it was covered.
For my son, the covered tablet really did not exist.
Back in the day there was a psychologist named Jean Piaget who studied child development and created the “Theory of Cognitive Development.” You can look at this research here:
Piaget stated that a child does not reach object permanence until 18-24 months (later, others stated that it may happen even earlier for neurotypical children). What this means is that until the child’s brain develops to the point where they recognize otherwise, for them the object is, “out of sight, out of mind.” It simply doesn’t exist.
Guess what happened?
The other day my son went to the counter and saw the towel. He stood there looking at it, thought about it and then whipped the towel away to reveal the tablet. He remembered that it was there, even though it was hidden. Realizing this is called “Representational Thought.” He could now form a mental representation of the tablet. And because he could now imagine something symbolically (the tablet), he was able to understand not only that it was there but that it exists when he can’t see it.
This is HUGE.
What appears to be a funny moment of, wow, we sure can’t trick you anymore, is actually a developmental milestone for my son’s brain. I want to dance and sing and celebrate and…
Hold on, I am suddenly pissed off…
Now, I have been thinking about the work my son is doing at school for a while and wondering about how developmentally appropriate it is for him. He attends an entire special needs campus, no inclusion in mainstream, which is exactly what he needs. But I have been seeing worksheets coming home. The worksheets have notes on them such as HOH (he did it with the teacher’s hand over his, or hand over hand), Refused to Work and Cried the Entire Time. I already have an apointment to speak with the Instructional Specialist about a number of things that I would like adjusted. And to be completely honest, you should know that we are very happy with my son’s placement in general. Every single person who cares for him at the school is amazing and loves on him.
But…
Why, oh, WHY IS MY SON, WHO JUST REACHED PIAGET’S MILESTONE OF OBJECT PERMANENCE DOING ABSTRACT CONCEPT WORK LIKE WORKSHEETS???????????????
Developmentally, he is about 2 years old. No teacher should give a two year old a worksheet. 2 year olds should be using hands-on manipulatives and learning through play.
Who am I to question THE TEACHER?
I’m his mother. I’m his advocate. I’m his first teacher. And, yes, while I do have a Master’s in Education, am a highly qualified, certified teacher (not working in the field, raising my incredible son), and I am licensed in both general education and special education, I had to look up Piaget on the internet because I couldn’t quite remember the details from my study years ago.
If I can look it up on the internet, so can you.
If it doesn’t feel right, if your child isn’t thriving with how it’s being done, guess what? You can change it. You are the number one most important member of the IEP (Individualized Education Program) team. Get in there!
I have my thoughts in order. I know what I want to say when we meet. I have a list of concerns and satisfactory outcomes that I am striving for. I am going back to celebrating! Oh, and trying to figure out how to outsmart my amazing, beautiful son because the tablet is fair game to be stolen again.
Speak up. If it doesn’t feel right, it isn’t right.
What issues have you spoken up about? Please tell about it in the comments section below.
For gross motor skills, balance or just getting some energy out! The SkyBound Children’s Mini Trampoline with handle has multiple safety features including two removeable foam covered handlebars for balance and support, a thick PVC safety pad and a safety mat skirt.
I am an Amazon Affiliate. If you purchase this product through the link above I may receive a small commission which in no way affects your price. This helps me to continue to support and share information with special needs families while staying at home with my son. Whether you choose to purchase or not, thank you so much for your support!