Sometimes it seems like I am forever fighting with people. My son, who is 6 years old and has special needs, has spent his life working with people from various programs. First it was ECI (Early Childhood Intervention). Then it was PPCD (Pre-School Program for Children with Disabilities). Concurrently, we also got services from an outside source for various therapies. And now, we are in public school at an all special needs campus, self-contained (which is exactly where my son should be). Along the way, there have been mostly incredible, talented and caring folks who wanted what was best for my son. But sometimes, what seems best for my son to these professionals is not what I or my husband think is best.
When you run into a situation with the school where you want more or different services than they seem willing to give, it is important to have a plan in place. You want to successfully persuade them to give you what you want. Sometimes this can be done in a “nice,” manner, which, let’s face it, is optimal. But, sometimes, when you can’t get everyone on board with what you want, you have to persuade them.
Tenacity for the Win
Tenacity is determination. It is persistence. In the teaching world, the buzz word for the last decade or so has been grit. This is the key to getting what you want. Having taught in general education for fifteen years before I became a stay-at-home mom, I learned a few things:
Take up their time.
There are not enough hours in the day for people employed by the school system. Teachers, diagnosticians, administration, counselors and therapists have a large caseload. They work 24/7. They dream about it. So they only have a certain amount of time allocated to considering giving you the change that you want. When you push this time boundary, they may give you what you want just so that they can move on. Be willing to spend as much time as it takes to convince them of the change that you want made.
Learn the law.
They generally assume that you don’t know the law. They may or may not be conscious of this assumption. So sometimes they will give reasons why they can’t give you what you want but those reasons are not legal. Additionally, they can get in trouble for giving these reasons. For example, if you want your child to have more time in speech or to have individualized speech, the therapist cannot legally say that the reason why they don’t want to do this is because their case load is too heavy and there is no time. If this is true, the district is legally required to hire another service provider. But if a parent doesn’t know this and they are told there is no time in the schedule, the parent will often back down. It is to your benefit to be knowledgable when it comes to special needs education law.
Cite research that supports what you want.
Schools LOVE to cite things that are research-based. It is to your benefit, when requesting something different than what is being provided, to bring along an article or two that supports your position. These articles are available on the internet. All you have to do is search for your topic. Extra points for fancy-sounding places that did the research like Ivy League Schools or well-known education organizations. You are not looking for a cool post on this topic from a random guy named Fred.
Take your own data.
Schools like to take data on students to show what is or is not working. You can take or keep your own data at home to present at the meeting. It is as simple as giving your child multiple chances on different days to show what they know. For example, if you feel that your child is not benefitting from how they are being taught sight words, you can, on five different occasions (perhaps once a week) present flash cards to your child and write down which ones they know and which ones they don’t. Keep this information. Then, if your child makes no progress, bring this data to the meeting. Explain that you took this data over five weeks, once a week and your child did not show any progress. Then explain what you want to be presented to your child instead of what the school is doing now. This data is evidence that what they are doing is not working. It is hard to argue with what a parent wants when there is proof that what the school is doing is not working.
Do not accept sub-par interactions for your child.
It is your right to request another provider if you feel that your child needs someone else. Depending on the setting, you may or may not be able to get someone else but it is always worth pursuing if the provider is sub-par. An example of this is a therapist that came to our home through ECI when my son was about two years old. She made no effort to connect with him in any way and her content delivery methods were mediocre. When my husband discussed this with her, she stated that it was not her job to love on my son, it was her job to model what to do for us so that we would deliver the actual therapy. My son did not want to work with this cold woman and cried the entire time. My husband showed her to the door and told her to never come back. We then called ECI, explained the situation and requested another therapist. The new therapist was stellar! She bonded with my son, loved on him and got more accomplished in one session than the other woman would have ever accomplished. Any teacher or therapist of value knows that if you cannot connect with the person you are working with, you will not be able to teach them anything. You have the right to ask for this. But you must speak up.
Be the advocate that your child needs. Speak up!