The world is a funny place right now.
The Corona Virus seems to be sweeping the nation, we are staying home, practicing social distancing and the parents of typical kids are wondering how they are going to handle it. How will they work full time jobs AND teach their kids at home? It is a daunting task. Especially for those who are not, shall we say, educationally inclined.
As I observe and participate, I see some interesting parallels between what these parents are experiencing right now and what we experience as special needs parents.
Parents of typical children are being asked to practice social distancing. We special needs parents do this all the time. Maybe your child is medically fragile and so you stay at home. Maybe they can’t handle outings emotionally (or maybe you can’t right now). Perhaps you would like to go to a party that you have been invited to but you don’t think that your child can handle it. In these and so many other scenarios, we special needs caregivers practice social distancing. It is sometimes peaceful but often lonely. We want to be part of a community but we haven’t figured out how to balance our roles as caregivers with our individual needs as people. Or, right now, the most important job in the world, caring for our amazing children, doesn’t offer that luxury.
Typical parents are being given alternative methods for learning for their children. At least, for now, the typical classroom experience isn’t happening. Surveys are going out – do you want your child to do their schooling online or as a packet that they will send home? Never mind that perhaps the typical parent hasn’t done math equations like they are presented now. The typical parent may feel at a loss as to how to help their child be successful. They will have to check with others to see what they are doing, use trial and error, fail and retry until they are successful.
This reminds me of how the special needs parent has to help their child learn to be successful. It reminds me of how it took at least 25 other attempts that failed before I figured out that my son COULD learn letters and sounds but only if I presented them in water in the bathtub with daily repetition for TWO YEARS. No, the typical parent won’t have to do this for two years (hopefully) but it isn’t that different.
Schedules will have to change. The typical parent may have to work from home while also teaching their child at home. They may have to wait until their child goes to bed and lose sleep to finish up what they needed to accomplish during the work day. Sound familiar?
At first I smiled when I saw the struggle that these typical parents were presenting. I thought, really, it isn’t so bad. After all, look at what we as special needs parents do in a day! But then my smile faded as I realized that their path is similar to how I felt when I first became a special needs parent. This isn’t the usual. It’s not the status quo. No one has any experience doing it this way. They are worried about making a mistake. Teaching their child wrong. Not being able to live up to the task. They are stressing about how they are going to make it all work.
It is a very familiar description to me. I bet it is to you, too.
And so, as I would hope that people would step up to help special needs parents walking the walk, I salute and support these typical parents. This isn’t going to be easy. They will make mistakes. It will not always go smoothly. But this is the most important job in the world. It is for their incredible child! And they can do this.
We know. We do it every day.
GOT ENERGY? Support a typical parent in this time of confusion. OUT OF ENERGY? Send an encouraging message. We as special needs parents know how meaningful that can be.
As time moves on, the typical parents will return to their typical lives with their typical children. This is only a taste for them of what it is like to have their world turned upside down. For now, be patient. Show kindness. Help lead them as they walk a version of our walk. Listen to their complaints and their fears and cheer their triumphs. As only we can.
They need us.
Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!