5 Reasons Why I Model Our Lives On Our Disney World Trip and Why You Should Too

We recently took a trip to Disney World. I was nervous, I admit. There were seven of us going. Our son, Kai, is 6 years old and special needs (PVL, Autism, Duplicate Chromosome 16, SPD, Coprophasia, Low functioning). My husband, Billy, is recovering from a long illness that makes him low energy and he has daily physical pain. Our daughter, 8 year old neurotypical Amaya, wants to experience everything. Our daughter (she’s my step-daughter but I’m laying claim) Autum, her husband Jason and our grandson, 6 year-old Jacob, all neurotypical and ready to roll. And me. I have fibromyalgia and anxiety disorder. Fun group, aren’t we?

We actually can be a very fun group. We generally have a good time together. But since there were so many individual needs, it seemed a daunting challenge to make sure everyone was taken care of. Disney World has some amazing things in place for people like those in our group. And I, also, put some things in place to ensure our success.

Now, post trip, I think about how great it went. I have analyzed why it worked and what could be tweaked so that next time we attempt something like this it is even better.

But then, I had a new thought. How can I apply what we did to every day life? How can we use these tactics so that every day becomes a little easier? Here are my tips for applying Disney joy to every day life in a special needs household:

1. Identify yourself. At Disney World, when you have someone with a disability in your party, you go to guest relations and identify yourself. They will give you all sorts of assistance and show you how to use programs they have in place to make your visit easier and more joyful. This works in everyday life in lots of different ways. On an airplane, I have identified us to flight attendants who have given us special attention. I have introduced our family to those sitting around us on the plane and explained that Kai is a good traveler but he stims so if the seat starts shaking, this is why. I have invited them to communicate with me if it is disturbing them with excellent results. People are so much more understanding than if the seat was just shaking violently in front of them with no explanation. We have self identified and asked to be seated in an empty party room in restaurants so that Kai could sit on the floor or be a little louder than most. And, although we haven’t attended yet, most major movie theatre chains have a special needs day where they show movies with the lights on and the sound turned lower. You just have to identify yourself to the theatre. Special needs folks can do what they need to do while everyone enjoys seeing a movie together.
2. Plan for a safe place. We were at Disney World in October hoping to dodge the hot weather but it was still brutally hot and humid. There was a lot of noise in the park as people had a wonderful time. Bright colors, music, screaming children, lots of action. At one point, Kai got overwhelmed. Disney World offers a wonderful place for him to decompress. We were able to go to the clinic and were given a curtained off area with a bed. It had delightful air conditioning, was very quiet and they had delicious, cool water to drink. Kai was able to rest, watch his tablet and relax. When he was ready, we went out and tried again. In everyday life when we go out, we make plans to use this concept. On Halloween this year, we had two different safe places for Kai. Even though he can walk, we brought along a stroller that Kai feels safer in. When he became overwhelmed with all of the people and action, he climbed into the stroller and relaxed. The second safe place was our van, which we parked nearby. Kai didn’t need it this time, but in the past, if he became overwhelmed, one of us could go with him to the van to take a break, rest and recharge. When we first became special needs parents, we would just go out and hope for the best. With no plan in place, if Kai couldn’t handle it, the whole family had to leave and usually there was a scene. Kai would meltdown because he felt overwhelmed. With two different levels of a safe place ready to be used, our family gets to go to more places and stay there longer.
3. Go out in groups if you can. My husband, Billy, can only do so much as he recovers from being ill. My body can only handle so much due to fibromyalgia. Kai likes to go places but long day trips out are still somewhat overwhelming for him. Amaya, our 8 year-old, wants to go and do everything. So does Jacob, our 6 year-old grandson. What do we do? We trade off. We all went together at the outset. When Kai needed to go to the clinic, Autum and Jason took Amaya and Jacob while Billy and I took Kai. We decided that they would meet us at the clinic after a certain amount of activities. It worked beautifully. You can divide and conquer like this at the mall, doing physical activities like skating, for birthday parties and more. I realize that not everyone has family or support like this but if you do, plan to do things together.
4. Ask for what you need, even if you aren’t sure of what that is. We started our first day at Disney World at guest relations where we were taught to use the disability access card. This is a wonderful system where you approach a ride, show your card and are given a time to return to ride. It is very similar to Fastpass but you don’t have to schedule using a computer or phone. This is a great accommodation except we were struggling. When we returned, we had to wait in the Fastpass line. Sometimes, the walk from the front to the ride is VERY long and we needed to leave the stroller outside. Add in the fact that there was often dim mood lighting, loud music and chatting people waiting to ride and it was a recipe for disaster for Kai. He needed his safe place. Billy was also having a hard time because he was riding on a scooter and leaving it outside and walking through the twisting, turning roped off areas was very difficult for him. I didn’t know how to make it better, but it was going to be a LONG, HARD day if we continued this way. I spoke to one of the managers at a ride and told her that we were struggling. She was wonderful, hugged me, and told me she was sorry that I was having a hard time. She then offered a new solution. We went back to guest services and requested a disability sticker for Kai’s stroller. This allowed Kai to STAY IN THE STROLLER and also allowed Billy to STAY ON THE SCOOTER all the way up to where we stepped onto the ride. When we stepped off of the ride, the stroller and scooter were right there. All we had to do was step off and they climbed right back in/on. Brilliant. I was so relieved I wanted to cry (I might have). If I hadn’t asked I would have spent the rest of the day struggling like mad, with a very unhappy son and an exhausted husband in pain. If you are struggling in daily life in a public place, or anticipate that you might, ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED. Find management, lay out your predicament and ask for their input. I have gotten different seating in restaurants. Once, in New York at the Barclay Center to see the circus, we were given special needs seating so that Kai could get up and down without disturbing those around him. It is good to have an idea of what you need but if you have a problem and JUST DON’T KNOW what would make it better, ask. It probably isn’t the first time that management is hearing it and more people problem solving is better.
5. Plan for down time. When I started planning our Disney World Trip I knew that three of us were dealing with limitations that the rest of our group didn’t have. We were going to be in Orlando for the week but ony planned on attending the parks for three days. I knew that even one whole day was going to be a lot for Billy, Kai and me so I decided that the three of us would only attend for two days. On Tuesday, we all went to Magic Kingdom. On Wednesday, Autum, Jason, Jacob and Amaya went to Animal Kingdom. Billy, Kai and I stayed behind at our rental house where we recovered, relaxed, napped and went swimming. On Thursday, the entire group went to Epcot. We were able to do this because Kai is low functioning and didn’t realize that anything was amiss. He was just happy to spend the day with Mommy and Daddy at home resting and swimming. You may have to tweak this if your child is more aware. But, everyone in your group could easily enjoy scheduled down time. Having extra down time meant being able to enjoy more fully when we were able to participate, a huge plus. Sure, we would have experienced more had we gone all three days but the quality of the experience would have gone way down. I am doing this in every day living as well. Schedule extra time for everything. If you think it will take 30 minutes but you can schedule for 45, do it. If part of your group wants to keep shopping but your special needs child would do better sitting in the food court or reading a book on a bench at the mall, take the time to do it. You may experience less overall but the quality of what you do experience will skyrocket. Having done it both ways, I would take quality over quantity any day of the week.

So there you have it. Five different ways to model daily life on a trip to Disney World. It would make me so happy if you took these ideas, tweaked them and made them your own. Make them work for you.

What strategies do you have that make daily living easier? Please share them in the comments below.