When you think of amazing life milestones, one of the major things that they have in common is hope. Getting engaged gives two people a sense of what is possible in the future for them together. A wedding is the next step in that. A teenager going off to college, someone buying their first home, all of these things and much more are doorways to hope for good things to come.
Nothing is a better example of this than having a child.
Going through a pregnancy or an adoption and having a child is the ultimate in hopes and dreams. You wonder – what will the child be like? What will their interests be? What will they achieve? Will they change the world? Become a leader? An artist? A doctor? You fantasize about everything that your child can possibly be.
Except a child with special needs. No one fantasizes about that. No one hopes for this for their child. And most of the time, it doesn’t enter the consciousness at all that it could be possible, except as a fleeting thought that is easy to dismiss. Nah. Not MY kid.
So when it happens, there isn’t a whole lot of hope present. Rather, it feels as though it is the dashing of hope. The dashing of dreams.
It feels that way because what you envisioned may not come to pass. But your vision was a fantasy of the person your child could be. Not who your child is or will be.
Just because your child has special needs, even if they are low functioning, like my son, it doesn’t mean that there is no reason to have hope. In fact, a lot of the hopes you can have for your actual child will be similar to the hopes you had for the child you envisioned.
Your child with special needs can be healthy (or healthy, for them). They can be happy, especially if they are honored and valued as whole and complete people (which they are, in their way). They can give to the world (things like joy, companionship, insight, and whatever their individual gifts end up being). Just like a typical child.
It probably isn’t going to look the same. But that’s OK. Every child is unique. Typical or atypical. And there is always hope for good things to come.
Don’t give up hope. Re-envision it.
Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!
My son said a new word on Sunday. No one knew what it was but I heard it and asked him to say it again and he did and I still have no idea what he said. However I felt like we won part of the lottery. He’s 29 years old, in diapers, considered very low functioning but to me he’s practically a Rhodes Scholar! My hope sometimes gets rusty but when things like this happen it soars again!