It is a new year and a new decade. Just a little over a week in. A little over a week ago, people were talking about how 2020 was going to be their year! It was going to be so much better than 2019! They made resolutions! They made decisions about making changes! They were pumped!
It is a little over a week later and they are already “disappointed in 2020.”
No pressure on the new year. But they wanted their changes, their accomplishments, their blessings – right NOW.
Realistic? Not so much.
A goal without a plan is just a wish. I didn’t write that but I see it all over the place and if I knew who did write it then I would give them the credit. Since I don’t, let us all just take a moment and admire the nameless person who wrote this.
Because it is SO true.
But what happens when you make a plan and it doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to?
Right now, all over the country, people are joining the gym and exercising like mad. THIS IS THEIR YEAR to get in shape.
All over the country, special needs parents are working hard with their children, thinking that THIS IS THE YEAR that they will learn to count. Or walk. Or eat without choking. Or learn to speak. Or FILL IN THE BLANK HERE. Because THIS IS THEIR YEAR.
Right now, people are enthusiastically joining dating websites. They are going to meet their life partner. Because THIS IS THEIR YEAR.
Does this sound familiar to you? Do you see it happening around you? Do you see yourself doing it?
There is SO MUCH PRESSURE.
And then comes the “failure.” Another breakup. A missed workout. A “bad food” event. Your child knew how to count to five yesterday but only to three today.
So what do people do? They quit. And suddenly 2020 SUCKS DOG.
Here’s the thing. I like goals as much as anyone. I make them for myself all the time. But I have never met anyone who reached a goal in a smooth, perfect, flawless way. Have you? Ever met someone who reached a goal without ANY setbacks. No mistakes?
The key to achieving a goal is to overcome a setback, whether large or small. The people who win at this game are the people who fall down and then get back up and try again. Consistently. These achievers also are willing to give up the method that they were using to get to the goal and try other things to get there. They are willing to be flexible in their methods. They will try other paths to get to their goal.
Here is an example. When I was still teaching, I once had a student who was in the process of being diagnosed as special needs and put into a program but hadn’t quite gotten there yet. She was able to learn but it happened VERY slowly. I was working with her one on one and she was learning how to count. We counted objects, used Touch Math, used charts, counting videos, did exercises while counting and more. Most of it seemed to not be working. She would occasionally be able to count to a higher number but would often forget what she was able to achieve during the last session. And then I finally got her to be able to count to twelve consistently. Every little step was a victory and we celebrated like mad whenever she was able to do something new.
And then all progress stopped. For SIX WEEKS.
Think about working intensely on something and seeing no visible progress for SIX WEEKS. Would you want to quit?
What if quitting wasn’t an option?
We couldn’t change the goal. She needed to get to thirteen. But how we got there was FLEXIBLE. We tried all kinds of things and threw out what wasn’t working. We took breaks. We tried new things. Because IT IS NOT A FAILURE TO THROW OUT WHAT ISN’T WORKING AND FIND SOMETHING THAT DOES.
You know what guarantees that it isn’t going to happen? When you stop trying.
The day my student counted to thirteen I felt like I won the lottery.
I urge you to be flexible in achieving your goals. Allow yourself room for setbacks and know that if you continue to persist you will have a comeback. As a very wise person that I know says, it is about progress, not perfection.
Recognize that the tiniest step toward your goal is a win.
Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!