The end of the year, and the decade, is approaching quickly. Many of us think about all of the things that we have wanted to accomplish while living the special needs life. Some of them we have completed, other things started and waned, and some have fallen by the wayside. Our lifestyle doesn’t always allow for completion, what with the endless time and energy that we invest in the ones we love the most.
As we close out the year and begin to think of the upcoming one, we are prone to making New Year’s resolutions. And, often, within a few weeks, we set out with resolve and dive in. And then we realize that although we have good intentions, it may not be practical to go balls to the wall full speed ahead. Especially when we are probably functioning on less sleep than is optimal and dealing with the endless meetings, doctor’s appointments, therapy appointments and so on.
And so, this time around, might I suggest something different? Instead of resolutions, perhaps we should examine and readjust our priorities. Instead of adding ONE MORE THING to our ever busy lives, why don’t we focus this year, instead, on what we can remove? What just doesn’t have to be a priority?
If you think about all of the things that you have committed your time, effort and attention to in your daily life, is there anything that you could let go of? What commitments just aren’t serving you well anymore? By deciding what is really important to you and what is, well, just not, you can then take steps to relieve your burden.
For example, I NEVER volunteer in my typical daughter’s classroom anymore. Does that sound awful? I spent fifteen years as a classroom teacher and am now a stay-at-home typical and special needs parent, a writer, the wife of a husband recovering from a long illness and a committed Crossfit enthusiast (which all began because I was getting hurt caring for my son). Although I know that as a teacher I appreciated parent help, I have talked that talk and walked that walk. I know that I have helped hundreds of students and families in the past and may again in the future. But right now, this is something I needed to take off of my priorities list.
You know what stayed on the list? I show up for my daughter. At every school event and lunch at least once a month. She gets so excited to spend that extra special time with me. I doubt she would remember much about my volunteering to cut out laminated teacher things, but she will SO remember our times together at school events (Full disclosure – I have volunteered to send in extra supplies when needed. I know that this is valuable, too, doesn’t usually cost much and takes little time).
When examining priorities for yourself, it can be difficult to decide what you think is important and what society is telling you is important. Remember, society doesn’t have to live your daily life – you do. Make cuts accordingly.
When you prioritize and cut your list down to what’s really important, you can choose what your focus for the coming year will be. And you may have more time to actually act on this decision.
Upcoming priorities for this year for me – get certain financial things situated for my son with special needs; finish editing my book; laugh and play more; rework my budget to allow for the new; continue getting physically stronger to care for my son; enjoy my family. Oh, and spend more alone time with my husband.
Everything else? I’ll get there eventually, but it’s not a priority. And that is my New Year’s resolution.
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