I hurt my knee. I have this ongoing goal – I want to be able to pick up my son and carry him for as long as I possibly can. You see, even though he is seven years old, he has eight different special needs diagnoses. Developmentally he is about 1 1/2-2 years old. And he loves to be held and carried and loved on. And as his Mommy, I love to do this. But it kept getting harder as he grew. So I decided to get in better shape.
I know that when you begin to get in shape, you need to start where you are. So last fall, I started out walking for fifteen minutes a day. That was where I was at, after a few very rough years where the last thing that I felt that I had time for was to take care of myself (I was SO wrong, but that is a discussion for another time). My ability level was low, my weight was high, my exhaustion level was higher. But this new goal, to do this for my son, was unlike any other goal I had ever had before. It wasn’t about fitting into a pair of jeans. Or looking pretty/sexy/normal/whatever. It was for my boy, the most important person in my world. For him, I would and will do anything. So I decided to do this.
After several months of walking, I was able to walk for almost two hours a day. Just walk. No swinging arms, no speedy hips, no fancy moves. So I added in light weight lifting. But I wanted more direction. So I hired a trainer. It just so happens that this incredible woman owns her own Crossfit gym. And after working out with her for a couple of months, I decided to go for it. I went to a Crossfit class.
Crossfit, to me, had an intimidation factor that was pretty high. It is almost a status symbol that you do CROSSFIT. It is pictured in social media as a brutal workout, done by those crazy gym rats. You know the ones – ripped bodies, protein shake chugging, rep discussing, intimidating as hell. I don’t think I would have even considered it except that my trainer was so phenomenal, I knew she wouldn’t recommend it to me if she didn’t think I could do it.
Guess what? I can do it. And so can you.
If you think for one second that the intimidation factor of entering a Crossfit gym is even CLOSE to what you have experienced as the parent/caregiver of a special needs child, you are wrong. Nope. Not even close. Remember that deer in the headlights, stomach sinking feeling when you found out that your child was different? That you were now in charge of someone who needed help with ADHD/Autism/PVL/CP/a trach tube/Extra Chromosomes/Not Enough Chromosomes/fill in the blank with your chosen term here?
I walked in. I felt the fear, the intimidation and I did it. I LOVED it. And believe me, if I can do it, anyone can.
I can pick up my son. I have to keep going, though, and one day I will lose this game, because he will simply outgrow me. But not yet. Not yet.
But there is that fear of getting hurt. Of having a setback. And when you are on the path and you’ve got everything going and things are humming along, setbacks suck.
I hurt my knee yesterday. I have class tomorrow. I REALLY want to go but… my knee.
It makes me think of when my son has a setback. Does your child have them too? Does your child forget what they have learned over a school break? Does your child start to speak and then stop, having to relearn how to say things over and over again? Do they totally get a concept one day, only to lose it on another? Or can they do certain physical movements sometimes and not at all at other times? Eat without choking on Monday but choke on everything on Thursday?
What do we do when this happens? Do we quit? Nah. WE DON’T HAVE THAT OPTION. We take a break, we rest, we regroup. And we try again. And again. Because this is our CHILD that we are talking about. There is no choice but to keep going.
So why do we give up on ourselves?
Why do we stop taking care of ourselves?
People are scared to get hurt. Look, no one likes to get hurt. I hate it. I am limping around the house, using ice and ibuprofen and a knee brace. I am in pain, stiff and irritable. But, what if last fall, I never started from fear of the unknown? Fear of getting hurt?
Setbacks suck. But you know what sucks more? Not coming back from a setback. This goes for your health, your emotional state, your monetary situation, your relationships woes, everything.
Without a doubt, YOU WILL HAVE SETBACKS IN YOUR LIFE. And, of course, your child with special needs will as well. This is unavoidable. But you know what IS avoidable? A setback becoming a downfall.
Tomorrow I will limp into Crossfit. And I will do what will probably be a very challenging all upper body workout. As my lower body heals.
Rest. Regroup. Return. Someone incredibly important is counting on you.
Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!