When People Suck

Expectations are a funny thing. When you have high expectations, people tell you that you are impossible and that you need to lower them. When you lower your expectations, you get what you allow. So, you may have more company, but the quality suffers.

I have found, for me, that while living the special needs life, my expectations have GROWN tremendously when it comes to other people’s behavior. I simply don’t have time. My son, my shining star, comes first. The rest of my family is a very close second. And that leaves a very small amount of time for others.

So when someone doesn’t live up to my expectations, which admittedly are very high and always have been, I am more apt to leave than ever before in my life. I am also at a stage where I have a clear idea about what behaviors are tolerable and what are, simply, not.

If you are struggling with the behaviors of those around you, you are not alone. It is so tough when you are operating at a certain level of expectations and the people around you aren’t even close. But I urge you to keep those expectation levels high. Doing so helps to weed out people who aren’t deserving of your time. Especially if you are one of those that have a lot to offer in relationships with people, KNOW YOUR WORTH.

When is it time to let someone go? When you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or dissatisfied when you think of them. When you find yourself using the phrase, “If only.” As in “if only” they would do this instead of that. “If only” they were honest. “If only” they did the job like they were supposed to do. “If only,” they were warmer, more approachable. “If only” FILL IN THE BLANK HERE. This applies to relationships with your child’s teacher, caregivers and therapists but also in personal relationships. When else should you let someone go? When you feel belittled in their presence. NO ONE should behave in a way to make you feel small. We haven’t got time for that. It is not allowed, at least not in my world. And it shouldn’t be allowed in your world either.

By letting someone go who SUCKS, you are making room in your life for someone who DOESN’T SUCK. They may be hard to find but keep searching. You know how when you go shopping for clothes you have to go through the racks, sliding over items, one at a time, rejecting, rejecting, until, AHHH! You have found the item that is perfect for you! And then you try it on. Maybe it’s perfect, maybe it’s not. If not, you put it back and you keep on looking. Maybe you won’t find a perfect item of clothing on that shopping trip. If you don’t you look somewhere else. Or you try another day. Or, maybe, you love something, buy it and bring it home to find out that it shrinks in the wash. It misbehaves. You don’t think that the problem is YOU. The problem is the item. So when you find someone who misbehaves, a person who SUCKS, or even a bunch of people who SUCK why do you think that the problem is you? It’s not. You just haven’t found your one yet. Whether they be the perfect occupational therapist for your child, a life partner or a friend.

THINK about what your expectations are. EVALUATE the people who are bothering you. ATTEMPT to solve the problem and see if their sucky behavior improves. REEVALUATE and see if it worked. And if it didn’t, make some CHANGES.

You DO NOT have to put up with people who SUCK. So don’t. We have enough on our plates without them.

Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!