While I love the idea of Mother’s Day, what I have discovered as a Mom of a special needs child is that I feel tremendously pressured to have a good day. Because some people think that I DESERVE to have one more than most. That my job is HARDER than the average Mom. And so, it becomes VERY important that my day is wonderful.
Having lost my own mother, my best friend, five years ago, has not released the pressure of this holiday for me. If anything, it has made it worse.
I LOVE that the people who love me want me to have a good day, don’t get me wrong. But Mother’s Day is a hard day for me.
If it’s a hard day for you as well, maybe it’s time to set some boundaries on the day. For instance, I HATE eating out on holidays. The food and service is never as good, it’s usually crowded and my amazing son with special needs doesn’t do well with any of that. And, honestly, neither do I. And what’s the first thing everyone wants to do? They want to take me out for brunch. With the kids. A recipe for disaster if there ever was one.
I also don’t really have a need for much in the way of material things. My husband keeps asking me what I want for Mother’s Day. I ADORE that he wants to make sure that I have a good day. And feel P-R-E-S-S-U-R-E to come up with something to want. But, truthfully, I don’t want or need anything specific.
I am incredibly blessed. I am so grateful to be able to say that I don’t really NEED anything.
But…
This doesn’t mean that Mother’s Day can’t be made special and different for me. On the contrary. It just takes getting up some nerve to be able to say what I really want.
Deep breath. OK, here it goes.
I want to nap uninterrupted. I want to eat my husband’s homemade chocolate covered strawberries, chocolate covered pretzels, chocolate covered bananas, chocolate covered everything. With a cup of coffee. I want to cry when I miss my mother throughout the day without having to explain myself. I want my children to draw me pictures.
And then, I want the day to be over.
On another day, maybe we’ll go out and do something. When there is less pressure to be happy.
Maybe you LOVE eating out on Mother’s Day. Or however your family celebrates. But when you are living the special needs life, it is important to be honest and SAY something about how you are feeling about this day that can be filled with situations that cause stress for you while meaning to relax you. If it will be better for you and for your child to stay home or do something different, SPEAK UP.
Wishing you a wonderful Mother’s Day that is exactly what you want it to be. Whatever that is.
Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!