My son is seven years old and has about eight diagnoses. He is low functioning. Kai goes to an all special needs campus. Even though the law states that schools will have the least restrictive environment (LRE) for students with special needs, Kai will never attend regular public school. And this is the right placement for him. He would not be able to function there.
Having a low functioning child is very different than having a medium or high functioning child with special needs. I have always been aware of that. But, recently I have been involved in several discussions where other special needs caregivers are mourning the fact that from a social perspective, their kids are struggling big time. They are not always included. Other kids are not always kind. They are often not invited to birthday parties or when they have them, few to none of the typical students show up.
Their kids are devastated. The caregivers are talking about how they have moved to only inviting family and very close friends to their own events. But there is not much they can do when their children are excluded by others. Their children feel it deeply. They just want to be liked and fit in, like everyone else.
As I listened to these caregivers, my heart truly went out to them. I have ALWAYS been happy for others that have high functioning children. I have thought of this as a gift, a blessing. But in this case, Kai may actually have the edge.
You see, Kai is completely unaware of the entire situation. He doesn’t care if he gets invited to parties. He doesn’t care if he has his own party. Kai’s needs are very simple. He wants to be in an environment where he feels safe. He wants his tablet. He wants a blanket (or several). He wants to eat his chosen foods on demand (which we let him do; after a year of choking at every meal every day to the point of needing intervention, Kai can eat whenever he wants to). He wants loving when he’s in the mood and to dance when our song comes on. He wants alone time when he’s not feeling social. Kai loves going to school and riding the bus. He loves music and singing. Kai is interested in the occasional book. And that’s pretty much it.
If you want to meet someone who is filled with joy, peace and happiness ninety-something percent of the time, come meet Kai. You are welcome to try to interact with him. But you may or may not get acknowledgement. Because Kai isn’t really interested in meeting you. He’s not NOT interested. It just kind of doesn’t matter to him. He’s too busy being Kai.
And, the more I think about it, the more it WOWS me. Kai will never have to worry about not being included. It will never hurt his feelings to hear about a party he wasn’t invited to.
This is maybe the ONE area where low-functioning might just trump high-functioning.
Because in Kai’s world, there is no party. Not unless the party is him.