It Is IMPOSSIBLE To Remember Everything When Raising A Special Needs Child: Here’s The Important Thing That I Forgot

When you have a special needs child that is predominantly non-verbal, it is hard to think of everything. Last year, we moved to a small town and we changed schools. My son is bussed to another district that has a wonderful campus devoted solely to special needs. No inclusion for him and that is the best placement. It is exactly what he needs. The entire campus is trained in special needs education and even the bus drivers work in the classroom and know how to interact with these amazing kids.

I love the staff. They are warm, loving, accessible and my son feels very confortable there. Because he has a long list of diagnoses, some not common, I went out of my way to educate them and they were receptive to learning. I talked about his long struggle to eat foods without choking, why he walks on tiptoe most of the time and how it doesn’t matter how many times they tie his shoes, he will take them off.

But it didn’t occur to me to explain how to tell when my son has a headache.

I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me. After all, he is just beginning to talk, a stage we have been in for about two years. He can’t tell them if something hurts. When he doesn’t feel well, you have to guess what’s wrong. But he has a tell that gives away that he has a headache.

Every once in a while if his head hurts he may touch his head. But the thing that really gives it away is that he will squint ever so slightly. My husband and I have learned that this means his head hurts.

But because I forgot, he spent an entire afternoon at school with a headache.

I feel horrible about it. I explained his need for soft foods, his enjoyment of music and the fact that he knows all of his letters and sounds but may not show them he knows them. I told them about his affinity for learning while being immersed in water. I remembered to tell them that he still plays side by side with friends. And that he enjoyed being read to by other people, but not by his Mom (which, has thankfully changed since then).

The day that he came home on the bus and they told me that he had been out of sorts all afternoon I looked him over thoroughly before he even came out of the bus stairwell. He looked stoic and serious. Not his usual happy, smiling self. He saw me and there was no smile. He ALWAYS smiles when he sees me. And then, there was that tell. He squinted, ever so slightly. My poor baby had a headache.

How was the school supposed to know? I didn’t tell them what it meant.

So instead of getting medicine and feeling better fast, my son had to suffer for several hours. I want to cry when I think about it.

I have learned that you can’t remember everything. You can’t remember to do everything, share everything, tell everything, document everything. But I sure will be adding this one to the list.

So, please learn from my mistake. Is there something that your special needs child does that tips you off that they need medical assistance? Do they have a tell that shows you something is wrong that another person wouldn’t pick up on? Don’t forget to tell your child’s caregivers. Add it to the never ending, ever-growing list.

That is the last time my son will have to wait for pain relief due to a headache while at school.

What is something you always remember to tell your child’s caregivers about when transferring care to them? Please share in the comments below.