Our son, Kai, is 6 years old and special needs. When he was about two years old we very briefly put him into a daycare where I worked. Kai is nonverbal, Autistic and has PVL (periventricular leukomalacia), SPD, Duplicate Chromosome 16 and more. At this time he was beginning to slap himself in the head. At the daycare, Kai was assaulted.
There was a boy who was about four years old that had lots of anger issues. He approached Kai and spoke to him. Kai, of course, didn’t respond. The boy became angry that Kai was ignoring him and he choked him. This happened TWICE in two days.
Right after this, I left the daycare (which was only temporary for me, anyway) and withdrew Kai. The daycare did not handle the situation well at all but that is another story for another time. Unfortunately, this experience had Kai switching from head slapping to throat punching, which he had never done before.
It is four years later and Kai continues to throat punch and, occasionally, slap his head. If you don’t know that it’s coming, when he punches himself in the throat it can be very alarming. It is quick and sometimes hard. He is not hurting himself internally (we had an ear, nose and throat doctor check) but he sometimes has a bruise at the center of his throat. He never tries to throat punch or head slap someone else.
So, why is this happening?
There are many reasons why this could be happening. These include sensory processing (under or over stimulation in the brain), pain in the ear or mouth, attention seeking, frustration and more. Take a look at this excellent article for more information:
The article offers several solutions to attempt to stop head banging, and for us, throat punching, which is a similar event. One of the solutions that has been having a positive effect lately is using vibration.
Kai is not seeking attention when he head slaps or throat punches (your child might be, it is different for everyone). He has been checked and is not having ear or mouth pain. He occasionally will do it when frustrated but not often. It appears that in Kai’s case, he needs more, or different, sensory input.
We have tried tapping up and down his arms but this seems to encourage the behavior. A therapist demonstrated doing joint compression as a possible solution, but, again, no effect, or it made it worse. But recently we discovered that Kai responds well to using a vibrating back massager. When he is head slapping, throat punching, upset, or appears to be about to go into a meltdown, we calmly turn on the massager and hold it out so he can touch it with his hand. This calms him almost instantly. We then use it on the top of his head, his forehead and up and down his arms and shoulders. So far, it seems to give him what he needs.
To be clear, we are not worried about what other people think when Kai is stimming in this way. We are more concerned about him getting injured over time. Kai is growing and getting stronger. By distracting him from this behavior and still giving him the input that he needs, we can reduce the possibility of injury. Win-win.
What strategies do you use with your special needs child to distract from self harm? Please discuss in the comments below.