When You See Other Special Needs Caregivers, You Only See A Slice Of Their Lives

Have you seen the awesome Shriner’s hospital commercial starring Kaleb? It melts my heart every single time. If you haven’t seen it or just want to enjoy it once again, here is the link:

What did you see when you watched it? Kaleb, of course, is the shining star. But when I watch it, I always seem to look past him. I see a mother who is a caregiver for a special needs child. She is perfectly groomed, hair and makeup done, beautifully dressed before she even wakes him for the day. I see a beautiful home, clean and well organized. I see his Mom lift and transfer Kaleb to his wheelchair, and again to his seat in the car (which looks expensive and freshly washed). She does so with ease and strength. And she is INCREDIBLE. She is cheerful. She is calm. She is EVERYTHING THAT I WANT TO BE (Yes, I know it is a commercial. But still.).

And then I look around my own home. On any given day there are loads of laundry in some part of the cleaning process. It is “clean enough,” if I can manage it. My children are bathed, fed and dressed in clean clothes but I wouldn’t say they had Kaleb’s neat haircut or spiffy sense of clothing style. My son’s wheelchair is sitting right smack in the middle of the living room because I needed space and haven’t put it back in the van yet. I don’t remember the last time I washed the van. There are shoes, toys, books, technology, blankets and more scattered around. It certainly isn’t what you would call neat.

But you know what is exactly the same? Kaleb’s smile and my son’s. Both beautiful, joyful, breathtaking.

I have to ask, who is this incredible woman? This model of everything I want to be in the background of the commercial? How do I get to be her? How did SHE get to be her?

I wanted to learn more about her. So I found this video. They won’t let me put a link here, but you can copy and paste it into your browser. Then go to this page and scroll down and watch Kaleb’s story: lovetotherescue.org/no-small-wonder/

Osteogenesis Imperfecta. Brittle bone disease. Kaleb has broken bones almost 200 times. And, on the second video, I feel like I really see his Mom. His caregiver. And I know, once again, that a slice of life is just that. Tears in her eyes. Beautifully groomed but maybe tired this time. Showing that her love for him is so strong but that the journey can be challenging. NOW I feel like maybe she and I have something in common.

Everyone has their good and bad days. And no one lives in a commercial. I admire her so much. And, I remember that we are all human.

So I remember to cheer on people’s strengths and support people’s struggles. And that what I see is certainly not the whole story.

You are OK. Don’t compare your whole life to someone else’s slice of life. You are more than enough.

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