Snooty-ism: Or Why We Sometimes Get Intimidated When Living The Special Needs Life

Everyone has holes in their knowledge. Some of them are little and don’t really matter in day to day life. Some of them are huge and could be the difference between life and death. But everyone has them.

Some of the holes in my knowledge over the years have been very entertaining when they have come to light. Before I share them with you, I would like you to know that I have a Master’s Degree in education and am certified to teach both general and special education. I am what they call highly qualified. I can teach ESL to people of all ages. Sound impressive? None of this makes me immune to holes (and also, it doesn’t mean I am particularly brilliant in general, but that’s for another article).

In no particular order, some of the holes in my knowledge have included:

-thinking that the District of Columbia was a tropical island.
-not realizing that the name Boo’s for an alcoholic beverage store was not just a cute nickname for someone’s partner but was also a joke pertaining to the word booze. I figured it out one day after passing it for YEARS.
-thinking that a beer garden was a place to sit outside and enjoy nature while also drinking a beer.
-identifying cars only by color. I STILL do this.

There’s more, but I am already embarrassed to have shared these. So why have I shared them? Because I want you to know that EVERYONE has holes in their knowledge. EVERYONE.

Sometimes when living the special needs life we run into people that APPEAR so SNOOTY, so INTELLECTUALLY ABOVE EVERYONE IN THEIR OWN MINDS, that we can feel inadequate. Small. Less than. Not as qualified.

Have you met these folks?

Maybe they work in your child’s school. Maybe they are therapists. Doctors. EXPERTS. They speak using big, area specific vocabulary that you may not know. And the way they present themselves, you don’t even want to ask because they make you feel so DUMB, so much LESS THAN, that you cannot bear the thought of proving your inadequacy by telling them that you have NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT.

So you don’t ask. And because you don’t ask, you still don’t know what they are talking about.

But, here’s the problem. What if they are talking about your child? What if you need to know the information to make a very important decision?

I want to tell you something. Not only do you have every right to ask people to clarify what they mean if you don’t know, these folks HAVE AN OBLIGATION to explain things in a way that you can understand. And most of them actually want to. They often don’t realize that they are intimidating you. And they sure don’t know that you don’t understand unless you speak up.

So ASK. Because you need to know the answers.

And, on the off chance that one of these professionals is snooty to the point that they sigh, or roll their eyes, or seem bothered by having to break it down for you, guess what? You can FIRE THEM. And you should. Because your child is the most important person in the world and deserves only the BEST on their team.

What do effective caregivers do when they don’t understand what is going on? THEY ASK. This is what sets them apart from the rest of the crowd. Remember, I have a Master’s Degree IN EDUCATION and have no idea what half the acronyms mean that are thrown around in school meetings. So I stop them. I literally say, “I have absolutely no idea what you mean. Could you explain it to me?” It is THEIR JOB to make sure that I understand what they are trying to communicate. Same with therapists. And doctors. And hospital staff.

We as caregivers simply do not have the luxury of playing along to save face. The most important person in the world is counting on you. Your CHILD. You are the expert on your child and they are the experts in their chosen areas. You are a team.

You are equals. Don’t ever think otherwise. Now go out there, get clarification and continue to kick ass.

Want more? I have released a book! It is written especially for you to uplift you as a caregiver, soothe you, help you navigate and, most importantly, help you to be OK. Take a look!